But if not…

Never have I thought of myself as an anxious person, someone riddle with worries and doubt. (Perhaps maybe prideful!)  However, as I am experiencing changes and uncertainties in my life currently, I am struck at how anxious I really am.  Worries of the now, the future, and guilt and condemnation over mistakes of the past. 

Anxiety is a daily fax to God saying ‘I don’t think you have my best interests in mind.’
 – Tim Keller

What makes me think that I know what is best for me, I can barely manage to get to work on time or budget my money, what right do I to say that God doesn’t know what he is doing, that he doesn’t care about my life. And really, I can’t decide what sort of shampoo is best for my hair, so what do I always know about my best interest.

Plain and simple, my anxiety says that…..

I don’t trust that the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE is sovereign over alll.
I don’t trust that HE who created me probably knows what is best for me.
(I need an alarm clock that yells that at me in the morning.)

However, I am not talking the “Trust God” that sometimes so flippantly slips off our tongue like so many else Christian phrases.  I am not talking the “Trust God” that people say when they fly on a plane or go on a road trip.  Or even the trust that sometimes people call on when they hope everything will turn out good for them, to get that promotion or that the guy they like will ask them out.

I am talking the trust that involves dropping your anchor in the only hope that is eternal, no matter what his answer is.

I am talking the trust of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 
I am talking the trust that the original 3 amigos had in God when they were about to become BBQ.  

Daniel 3: 16-18
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king.But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

They had a lot to be anxious about.  They were captured and taken to Babylon.  Their friend Daniel had refused the king’s food for them and they were eating vegetables and water. (Not the best kind of diet plan.)  They were studying witchcraft and sorcery.  They were away from their families and friends.  They had to learn another language.  They were given new names.  God gave them favor in the eyes of the king. He put them into positions of power and stature.

And then…..the king told them to bow to his god’s idols.  They didn’t.  Things probably won’t end well when you refuse someone that isn’t used to the word, no.  He then threatened to throw them in a fiery furnace if they didn’t.

God had provided for them up to that point, he had given them everything, he had protected them, they believed down to the core that if anyone could deliver them it would be their God. 

But if not….that line gets me. 
Even if God didn’t deliver them now, it wouldn’t be the end.  They knew that even if all the horrible things that were about to come, actually came, all would not be lost.

Do I think the same?  Do I believe that?  In my anxiety, where am I putting my hope and trust? 

Their hope wasn’t in the favor of the king, it wasn’t in their stature in Babylon, it wasn’t in the food they ate, or what they studied or even what language they spoke.  Their hope wasn’t in the temporary life of this world.  Their hope lay with the God of this universe that given them everything up to this point, why would they stop trusting him just because the king threatened their life.

Why do I stop trusting God when things seem uncertain and scary?  (It’s not like I am being threatened to be thrown in a fire.)  Why do I quickly jumped to my own rescue or trust in my own devices before God’s?

And even if he doesn’t answer my prayers and my uncertainties in my life don’t change. Will I choose to trust Him then?

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