It’s a new year and I still feel like I am carrying around the baggage from last year. Also, I feel like I am slowly understanding where I need to be headed. My motivation for doing things, my thought process, my desire, my feelings about things. It is all warped because of others. I am way too concerned about what others think of me as well…I am so deep inside this sin that I have no understanding of how to get out. And why does it have to be so confusing. Why can’t it just be simple and that’s it. I make things complicated, I make things unnecessary.

It comes down to the fact that I have this deep desire within me for something more than this world has to offer. It’s not like I have some great profound statement to proclaim to the world. But I want something more than mediocre.