Regret

There are many times in my life where I regret choosing Piano Lessons over Ballet, and every summer I feel that tinge of regret again. Don’t get me wrong, I loved playing piano.

(Notice I say loved, because I don’t own a piano and only play when I visit my parents. Shhh…don’t tell my mother.)

I think that I could go back in time, I would change that one thing about my childhood.

(That and what I wore for my 5th grade picture day. I mean seriously, what was I thinking with those bangs.) 

I feel that regret of not having chosen to train as a dancer because of…

SYTYCD
 (or So You Think You Can Dance)

I am not shy about sharing my affection for this show, nor my agitation with Mary Murphy’s laugh.  This show is da bomb diggity! Or awesome-sauce!

These are just a few reasons why I love this show!

  • The very fact that these people have to be legit to win
  • The amazing choreographers (Napoleon and Tabitha!!) 
  • Cat Deeley (Who deserves an Emmy over Ryan Seacrest)
  • The fantastic emmy-award winning pieces that are UNFORGETTABLE 

 (I mean seriously!….Ah-MAZING!!)

  • The guest judges (Jesse Tyler Fergueson, Lady Gaga, Lil C)
  • The variety of dance from Ballroom, to Hip Hop, to Disco, and Jazz
  • The heart wrenching stories, from mom’s going blind, stay at home moms, homeless children. It will pull on your heart strings.

Every week after watching this show, I feel the need to turn on some music and dance around my living room pretending that I look just like those that make it to the top 20! (I will be posting a Youtube video that only my friends and I will find funny in the near future.)

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I Didn’t Know

Last Thursday, the buses pulled away and we waved, then cheered when the last one slipped out of the lot.  I was close to tears, but at the same time felt relief and elation.

3 years ago today, I couldn’t have told you where I would be teaching or whether I would be teaching at all.  I had only one interview.  I was searching for a summer job, I was scraping by one day at a time.  I had no idea what my future held.  I didn’t know about these kids or this place.  I was hoping and praying for something.  I just wanted someone to give me a chance.

Sometimes, when I sit and reflect over my 3 years of teaching, I shake my head in disbelief that I haven’t crumbled or jumped out a window.  There are moments when I just don’t know if I can come back and do it all over ago, and I don’t just mean after the year is over, but daily.

However, as I look through pictures of my students, I think about those moments when they make me laugh hysterically, it makes the fight worth it.

…..those moments when they share their heartbreak and I want to weep but hold to together to be strong for them.   …..those hugs that they awkwardly gave me when they left.  …..those Valentine’s they wrote me. “Don’t worry Ms. Spare, you aren’t alone, you have us!”

Those are the moments that make my job the best job.  My students make my job worth it.  I told them just that.

They asked if I was going to give them a sappy speech on the last day, “Of course, I will have the last word!”

Even though I know it might go in one ear and out the other, I still them that I care about them.  I tell them that they make my job better.  I tell them that they have so much potential and I am excited to see what they do with their future.  I tell them I am going to miss them.  I tell them that as frustrated I can get with them and their behavior, they will always have me in their corner.


On that last day, tears weren’t a threat, until one of my students who I am closer to, walks up with flowers.  “I told you that you were my favorite teacher,” she says as she hands the flowers to me.

Tears threaten to spill out, but I hold it together and walk into class as the bell rings.  And for the last time, I raise my hand and wait for them to get quiet and work on their bellwork.

There are days and events that make me question my profession, but I think everyone has those.  If you didn’t question what you did and why you do it, I think you can get too comfortable.

Looking back 3 years ago, I don’t think I could have predicted that my heart would get so attached to these students and this place.  Even if they don’t ever fully realize how much I care, it will still be worth it.

Top 5 Friday- Favorite Things to do with a Summer Day


I only have a few days of summer left and so I want to share some of my favorite things I have done with of my open days this summer. (Let’s be honest, I have a lot of open days in the summer.)

Anyways, I got the idea for Top 5 Friday from one of my favorite bloggers and someone that I think is a kindred spirit, AnnieBlogs. Check her out, she is in Scotland right now!

On to the list!

1. Sleep in! I mean come on, I think if we all had days on end that we didn’t have to be places to be or people to see, we would sleep in a little bit or a lot! I started out my summer with a bang, so it took me a while to catch up. However, now that July let the heat in, I am getting up earlier to get my runs in and enjoy the morning a bit more now. I also am trying to get used to the idea that soon I am going to have to get up at 5:30 and go to be earlier.

2. Go to the movies in the middle of the day! Yep, I love to sit in a dark theater by myself. It is nice and air conditioned. There aren’t a lot of people there and I get to enjoy some good movies. Right now, I really want to see Crazy, Stupid, Love and Harry Potter (yeah, somehow I missed that train.)

3. Lay out by the pool! I now have a legitimate tan. The great thing about where I live is that they have a sweet pool and lots of lounge chairs. Also, everyone works during the day, so I can go out there and not have to see a lot of people. Now that it is super hot outside, the sun takes more out of me and leaves me pretty tired. However, I love my tan!

4. Hang out with peeps! I love getting to spend time with friends when I am not thinking about all the things I have to get done before the next day. Usually during the school year, I have a hard time getting together with people because I am so drained after a long day with kids. That’s why I love summer!

5. Get addicted to new TV shows! I don’t know whether this is a good thing or not! But some of my favorite shows are summer shows, like So You Think You Can Dance or White Collar. There a couple of new shows this summer, but I also found some seasons of some that have been on the air a while and I have been getting caught up on Netflix. For example, I think Parks and Rec is Hilarious!! I just bust out laughing for no reason sometimes. Other new ones, Suits on USA and Royal Pains on USA….so funny and great writing and acting!
Runner ups: Working out in an empty gym, reading fun books, afternoon naps, enjoying meal time, discovering new blogs, and trying out new recipes!

What are some of your favorite things to do on an open day in your schedule? Or if you had a day to do anything you wanted what would you do?

Top 5 Friday

I am sort of borrowing this idea from a blog I read…. AnnieBlogs. I have been trying to think of something to write about all day, so I thought maybe this would spark my ideas.

I think I am going to try to do this every week. But a different topic every time. But first!

On a side note, we had a Boil Alert aka “boil your water or drink contaminated water and die” (okay maybe not die but you get my point). I found this incident pretty funny, especially after going to the store and watching all these people buy up bottled water and such. It made me think of being in Nigeria and how they would have to boil and filter water everyday just so they would get sick. And how there are millions of people that go without clean water everyday.

This week, I am just going to give you the Top 5 things that I did with my week!

1. Spend a delightful afternoon at The Roasterie in Brookside. I was so sad when I moved to KC to move away from Manhattan and my favorite coffeshop The Bistro (aka The Bluestem Bistro). This is now my favorite place to plant myself for an afternoon.

2. Ran 3 Miles in under 30 minutes. It felt great, I have been struggling to get my running back to where I want it to be. Now I think I am up for training for a Half Marathon this fall. Eek, that sounds crazy!

3. Women’s Desserts at Church….I got to know some pretty awesome women and was challenged to step out and take the first step to get to know people better in my community.
We also read and discussed The Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney. Such good stuff in there! (Don’t worry I didn’t partake of desserts…I have been pretty good this week.)

4. Babysitting the most adorable little girl! She is only 6 Months old and just cute as a button! We spent a lovely evening together. We played, scooted across the floor, had a bottle, then went to sleep! She was so smiley even after she went to sleep. If her mom says it is okay, I will post a photo of her cuteness! I love hanging out with kiddos, and then being able to leave and come back to my apartment all alone!

5. Hanging out with some pretty cool peeps….so really this is several things, but what I love about summers as a teacher, I get to have lots of time to see people that I probably wouldn’t otherwise see during the school year.

So in no order, I got my tan on at the pool with my southern friend Kristen,
watched SYTYCD with Kari, went to see X-Men with Lauren (the only save grace of that movie was James McAvoy), had breakfast with my teacher friend Pam, and had coffee with my college friend Becca. ( Still weird to qualify certain peeps from college and real life? I mean because we are still friends now!)

What are your Top 5 things from this week?