I resolve….

Resolve: to reach a firm decision about,
a resolve: Firm determination to do something.

This definition sums up my mindset about resolutions.  Making a decision and sticking to it.

Yes, this post is about a month old, considering that some have already given up on their New Year’s Resolutions.  However, there are still 11 months left in the year and still time to change!

I didn’t tell a lot of people (aka…internet people).  Most of my friends knew about this, but at the beginning of last year, I made a resolution that scared me.  

In 2012, I resolved to put myself out there and go on at least 1 date. (Not with my girlfriends, my roommate, family member or Jesus. But a male human that might have some romantic interest in me!)


EEK!  For a girl who has never dated, this made want to hide a closet for the whole year.  But I didn’t hide.  I put myself out there and go on a few dates I did! 

All this to say…I have been thinking about my resolutions for this new year.  Last year, I resolved to say YES to new things and stretch myself.  Oh goodness, it was quite the year! Making resolutions that stretch you and scare you make it that much more satisfying when you meet them or accomplish them.

So the question is, how in the world am I going to top 2012?? (This is where saying YES gets you!)

Oh, I am sure that 2013 is going to be another banner year in the life of Larissa, but it’s all about my mindset! So after pondering this for a month, this is what I have resolved!

My resolves for 2013!
I resolve to….love people better
(I want to be more invested in friendship and love them in ways they feel loved not just the way that is easiest for me to love them.)
I resolve to….smile more!
(Not a fake, plastered smile, but one that shows the deep abiding joy I have!)
I resolve to….enjoy food. 
(Food and I have a love/hate relationship. I love to eat, but hate when I eat too much of it or the wrong types of food!  This one might be more about finding a balance.) 
I resolve to….ask for help when I need it.
(In my pride, I so easily want to just do everything on my own, but I don’t live on an island)
I resolve to….rejoice and mourn with others.
(I want to be able to be fully present in others lives.)
 
I resolve to….be more creative. 
(I miss my days of painting, making cards, and being crafty! Those are the soul filling activities I long to go back to!)
I resolve to….finish things. 
(It has been pointed out to me that finishing things might be a problem for me. I am sure all the unfinished books on my book case might agree with this.)

Did you make resolutions this year?  How are they going?  Do you need to re-resolve a month in?  




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Words of Truth

Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.  

Sometimes my thoughts spiral out of control….
….and I end up curled in a ball on my bathroom floor freaking out about life.

Sometimes the lies are so loud that I can’t hear the small quiet truths.

That happened this week.

Maybe I am weird but I worry, I am anxious, I am torn up about the should of, could ofs, didn’ts, and didn’t want tos. 

These thoughts paralyze me.  

So much so that I am sitting in my car breaking down because I don’t know what to do next.

One of the blessings that I have in my life is this person…..

Angie!

She  listens, speaks truth, shoots it straight, doesn’t let me believe the lies, and all the while kicks my butt into shape!

I know that when I see her, she will be in my corner, not to just build my ego or feed into my crap, but she will be in my corner and believe in me when I don’t believe in myself.  I am so much stronger now mentally than I used to be, and I know it, but sometimes I forget.  She reminds me of that.

She reminded me this week that I do not have to be weak anymore, and it has made all the difference.

Sometimes I forget that I am transformed, heart and soul.
(2 Corinthians 5:17 – Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. )

It is almost as if, even though I have lost the weight, I am still wearing all my old clothes.  It doesn’t make any sense. 

I am transformed heart, soul, mind and BODY!!  
 I am free to be who I am meant to be.  THAT is the truth I want to listen too!
What are the lies that you are listening too?  Who in your life speaks truth to you and believes in you when you don’t believe in yourself?

Emotional Rollercoaster

School started again. That means several things for my life.

– Exhaustion

– A sore throat

– The constant feeling that I need to be doing something

This last week was the first week of school. Going into the week, I wasn’t so sure that I was ready for it. Over the weekend, I was dealing with a lot of emotions and heart issues. I was already drained before the kids got there.

These last two weeks, I went from feeling that I had a handle on the school year to feeling as if I was totally unprepared and inadequate to do my job. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to act like I can do everything on my own. I put on the mask of “I got this under control” and fake it till I make it. However, something that I have to continue to realize that the best attitude sometimes is to just admit that I can’t do everything on my own.

Just as I can’t save myself and I desperately need Jesus to do that for me, I desperately need other people. I need to let the people who love me inside and let them know what is going on. I need to ask for help and be willing to be seen as weak and vulnerable.

This is a broken record in my life. I am believing in my own abilities, and the truth is that I am not capable of anything without Christ. I do nothing on my own and I shouldn’t pretend otherwise.

Maybe this is confusing and I am sure it looks different for everyone. But would you pray with me that I wouldn’t put the mask on but be willing to ask for help and truly cast my cares upon the Lord instead of trying to spend the energy trying to take care of them myself.