It is actually is hard. Really hard. Whether it is your ways, your life, or even the people around you, it is a terribly hard thing.
I have found of all the things that I have to deal with as an adult, change is one of the hardest. Sure it can be exciting and thrilling, but it is still hard.
We get used to things. We get used to our routes to work, the people we see on a daily basis. Then….things change. We move, things happen, people leave, and suddenly everything is different. Maybe not bad or terrible, but different and we suddenly have to get used to everything again.
Were we disillusioned in thinking that after all that change from high school to college (where you move every year) that after all that, everything would just settle down and be normal and predictable? Maybe we thought that we wouldn’t have to encounter hard things like this? Probably.
In reality, life turns out so much different than we think or imagine, and can be so hard at times.
I had a conversation with a student about some of my co-workers that changed jobs. (Meaning they don’t work in my school anymore.) She came to school the first day and realized that they really weren’t there. Just new people. This young lady was upset at them. She was acting out and complaining about not having them to talk to anymore. Most likely in her immaturity, change doesn’t always make sense, and it feels like an attack against her and her life.
The funny thing is, I can remember feeling that way. It was a couple of weeks ago. Things were changing and people were leaving. It felt like the life that I was very used to suddenly wasn’t the same anymore. A dear friend moved away, I suddenly was living by myself, people were having ALL THE BABIES, and the school year was shaping up to be VERY different. I was so depressed about it. Like the kind of depressed that I didn’t want to leave my house for a couple of days.
Fortunately, someone affirmed something in my soul..all of these changes were a loss. And I needed to grieve over them. If I just pretended everything was fine, I would stuff down all the sadness and hard emotions and not deal with them. Un-dealt with things have a tendency to come back later to haunt you, right? So I had to face these losses and start the process of moving on.
In my conversation with this young lady, I told her this. I told her I was sad too. I missed my friends and it is hard when people leave. I knew that she was thinking hard about this because she asked, “When does it get easier?” What do I say, when I myself am not yet quite out of it.
I told her that there isn’t a timeline, but every day it will feel just a little better.
In this situation it gets easier to live life without these people around, but does change ever really get easier. Probably not. Change will always be a hard thing to deal with, but what I think is that we get better at dealing with it. We learn to emotionally process the hard things we encounter. We lean harder on the One who doesn’t ever change.
We were never promised an easy life. We were promised an eternal one. Our world screams at us, that if we work hard enough, we can create an easy life for ourselves. We start to pursue it and find that it is just an empty promise, just like many of the other promises of this world.
Sometimes I think that God allows change and other hard things to happen in my life because I become complacent. I become lazy in my pursuit of him. He wants to remind me that I should be dependent on him more than anything in this world. He does this to rip away my codependent tendencies I have with the ways of this world.
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
What a sovereign God that I serve that continues to desire for me depend on him. He continues to draw me near to him and doesn’t let me get lost in the promises of this world. Which are enticing and seemingly good at times. He doesn’t let me stay there, he shifts something, he stirs up my life to pull me back to him.
I could get mad and angry at him, (I have and probably will again) that he lets hard things happen in my life, but He sees the big picture, he knows what is coming and he knows that more than anything I need to be leaning into him and holding on to the anchor in the midst of the storm of change.
For the better
My trainer told me once that our bodies figure out the most efficient way to move, and sometimes that means we don’t use all our muscles, then the muscles we don’t use get weak and we are prone to injury. We have to change up what we do when we work out to use all our muscles.
Maybe our hearts and brains are like that. Change can be good because we figure out the most efficient way to live, we become dependent on people and routines, and don’t actually live to our full potential. We sort of half live, because that is the easiest thing to do.
God knows this, he allows change to happen because he knows our hearts, he knows our weaknesses and wants to challenge us to live our lives to the fullest.
Friend, perhaps you are staring down a big change that is happening or just happened. You are struggling to deal, you are wanting to run away and avoid this hard thing. I know the feeling. I can’t always claim that I did the best to run to God, but know that the moments I did, it was better. He sustains and helps.
How do you deal with change? What do you do when things get hard in life? What is change that is hard to deal with lately?