Fear. The nagging feelings, the overwhelming emotions, the constant worry.
A past acquaintance. Recently a constant guest. All too familiar
It claims the comfy seat in my life. Not just standing in my doorway, but plops down into the lazy boy.
You might call it cautiousness or timidness, but I have always lived afraid.
Sometimes it manifests itself in fear of calling people, fear of being left out, fear of being lonely, or fear of not having any friends.
This “friend” that sits in the lazy boy of my living room,reminds me everyday that I am insignificant, incapable, and a failure.
It feeds on lies and rumors and negativity.
It breeds like rabbits too.
It is like a mold of my heart and mind.
It is nothing but a fungus on my soul. Just growing and breeding. My fears compounds on everything that I am feeding myself. Negative thoughts, negative experiences, friends, relationships, the humidity of life.
AND instead of going Ghostbusters on that bad boy, I just let it sit there, like it belongs, like it is welcome.
Today, I write to remind myself that fear doesn’t belong, fear isn’t welcome, and it isn’t productive in the creative process. Perhaps that is why I haven’t done something creative in so long. I am afraid of making mistakes, of producing something terrible.
Fear whispers to me that making mistakes is a deadly thing, that making mistakes makes me a complete failure, but that is a lie. Fear doesn’t let mistakes turn into a good thing. God all makes things good.
I write to remind myself that it is never too late to go after my dreams.
It is never too late to do something amazing.
Again, I write to sing the refrain “fear is no longer welcome.”
It is time that I kick him out, that I get out the bleach and the mold killer. It is time that I clean that fungus out of my soul and breath deeply. I need to breath deeply, let the clean air of possibility in to my soul.
So friends, breath deeply. Perfect love casts out fear and God has given us perfect love in Jesus.