“I keep thinking, if I could just get back to where I was with God a few years ago. But, I don’t think that is possible. I need to move forward and find a better place to be.”
She said it somewhat off hand in the middle of a conversation about a million other things. However, it struck a chord in my heart.
Most of this year, I have been thinking and perhaps saying the same thing.
If I could just get back down to that weight.
If I could just go back to that point in my relationship with God.
If I could just have those moments with my friends back.
If I could have that group of students back, then maybe I would love teaching again.
I have been trying to solve this mystery all year, getting back to where I was.
I tried using the same tricks, doing the same things, spinning my wheels in a sense.
Her comment though, was actually a break through for me. The moment when I realized that I was very much living in the past, living in the memories and not living in the moment or living for the future.
As I read that verse, it causes me to shake in my boots a little. It is so easy to let fear tell us that the future is something to be afraid of. If we are trusting our Father, our Creator, the one who holds the universe in his hands, we shouldn’t be afraid, right?
Right. We shouldn’t be afraid. We should rejoice and look to the future with hope. We can’t look back and hope to go back to the safe and the comfortable.
Even in the midst of a desert, the wilderness of the unknown, he can and will make a way.
We may not be able to plan it or know exactly what is to come, but we can expect him to act.
I don’t know about you, but that water to my dry and thirsty soul. I want to etch this verse on my soul, so that I am continually reminded that God doesn’t want us to live in fear of his plan, but in joyful anticipation.
I can move forward with hope because I am cared for by the one who loves me the most and knows me the best.
What prevents you from moving forward? Fear? Or something else?
Anchor of my Soul 
I absolutely had past moments with God that were wonderful, but I believe that my future with him is even better.
Some can criticize me, some can point me down the road they walked but at the end of the day.. the journey is my own.
I think its wonderful that you are walking forward into what is new and wondrous.
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Larissa–
You left a comment on my blog, so I came to read yours. I was amazed to read in this post exactly what God has been teaching me this past week–he has a “new thing” and I need to stop looking in the rearview mirror. How amazing is He that we each write what the other needed to read and found each other in the huge net of blogs. Thanks for your words!
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