Longing

 Several weeks ago, I sat in a church service and heard the words that have been ringing in my heart for a while. 

We long for “Place.”
A rootedness
An identity
A stable life

This has been an echo of my soul for several years.  I felt it as I moved for the 8th time in 10 years.  I felt it as I went to weddings, watched friends buy homes, have babies, and put down roots.  I felt it as I drove 4 hours to a funeral alone. 

I feel it as I move closer and closer to my 30’s and still have no idea of what the next few years hold for me.  With no relationship, not hopes of buying a home or need for permanence, I live life from year to year, lease agreement to lease agreement.  I feel it as I celebrate another round of holidays by alone, and my siblings find their match and plan weddings.

Even as I reach accomplishments and joys such as finishing degrees and celebrating random holidays with friends, I feel that longing.  

This longing in my heart that I want a home, a sanctuary to come to at the end of a long day, a quiet and restful place full of peace and comfort.  This longing for a steady and stable life, something to count on, something or even someone to help me find roots. 

The mistake I make, and probably many others, is thinking that a place like this exists in a person, relationship, or physical building.  I mistake finding a soulmate to find a place to root myself.  (That is a lot of a pressure for one person.)

The other part of that sermon answered all of this.

That which we long for is secured for us in Jesus, the world can NEVER provide this.
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. (John 14:1-3, ESV)

What I long for goes beyond a romantic relationship, a home, putting down roots, a stable and secure job, a direction, or even a community of friends.  What I long for is a place to put down my anchor.  This can only, only be found in the person of Jesus Christ.  If I try anywhere else, I will continue to live in this unsatisfied state, which is becoming more and more restless and anxiety driven.

Maybe you find yourself in this exact same spot or have been there…where you find yourself trying to throw your anchor? How is that working for you?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s