People keep telling me this:
I hate that. It frustrates me. It makes me want to throw something. However, my anger is not at God or at the person saying it to me, but at myself. (If I was angry at God, he could probably take it. I imagine me being angry at God is like throwing rocks into the ocean….not going to hurt it.)
I am angry that I let myself start holding tight to this expectation that was not yet real or had come to fruition. I am angry that I am weak and choose to rely on the words the world and not on God’s Truth.
I am angry that I am so impatient that I let myself get to this point.
I am angry at my little faith that I have in God’s promises. He has good things planned, why can’t I just trust that.
Disappointment might mean that God has something better for me, but right now it doesn’t feel like that. It feels hard and lonely. It feels raw and vulnerable. It is scary and unknown.
Disappointment makes me want to build a fortress around myself, my heart, my life. It makes me want to crawl in a hole, not interact with anyone and be alone. It makes me more afraid.
HOWEVER….I know that, hiding is not the answer. I know that in the end that hiding is not what God wants for me nor is it what I really want either.
What do you do when you are disappointed? What are some ways you come back from it?
One thought on “Crushing Disappointment”
Being disappointed is one of the things that hurts me the most. I hate being built up by something and getting excited, only to be crushed. It has made me become more of a cynic than I would hope and not expect much of people, but I feel it is the only way to protect myself. Suggestions? Is there a way I can see the best in people and not be disappointed when they let me down?